Our most specialist of boys, Merrimack Generation Station (“Merrimack Station”) is located along the Merrimack River in Bow, New Hampshire. We are proud of Merrimack Station’s impact on the river, which includes extreme heating of the water and danger to local fish and wildlife. Our plant has become famous due to environmental lawsuits and activist efforts to shut it down (WOW—overachiever much???). It is also known for contributing to high cancer rates in the area- but don’t worry, our parent company CEO Andrew Bursky is anti-cancer, so that’s all fixed. Yay!
Coal is important and must be honored and commemorated, just like Her Royal Majesty the Queen or those beautiful statues of confederate generals. If Merrimack Station was gone, there’d be no glorious monument left to this long defunct industry. The mines that supplied our coal have even shut down! Who will keep coal alive if it’s not New England Ratepayers?
Merrimack Station adds diversity to the grid, since it’s the only coal plant left. Diversity is good and diversity means more things, so we must ALWAYS add the most things possible to something. As you can imagine, the most optimal fruit salad would have a watermelon and a raspberry and a kiwi and a plum, and a cyanide-laced dead rat. It will have pineapple and a melon and a blueberry too! On our grid, the other cyanide-laced dead rats have been removed, so it’s just the one poison rat. We don’t want to remove the last rat, as that would make our salad far less diverse!